Today in creative writing, after I wrote that story about you, after I was the most honest I have been in a long time, I wanted to jut cry.  I felt really small and worthless again, everything you made me feel came flooding back.  So did the hate.  I still, after all this time, can't bring myself to forgive you for what happened.  I can't forget and I certainly can't erase the scars you left.  I still love you, I'm sure of it.  But I know I don't want too.  What happened between us, what we had, was wrong on so many different levels.  It was painful and shocking, their reactions today showed me this.  I had always thought it wasn't so bad, but people hugged me, smiled apologies and I didn't know why.  I had been so blind that it took my classmates silent apologies to realize that what you did really wasn't okay and what happened, really wasn't okay.  I'm not okay with it and I don't think I ever will be.  You will always be that guy that used me, fucked me, then screwed me over with some other girl.  I can't forgive you, because you never said you were sorry.  You have never honestly apologized and you never will.  You're only sorry I caught you.