i had a long hard think of the routes i could take, of the things i could say and i have come to this.  i will never be good enough for most of the people in my life, i accept this.  i will always disappoint and hurt people, i have accepted this too.  i will always take on board everything you say, regardless.  and i will always pretend that i am what i am not.

i could be the person i want to be right now, but i refuse.  goodbye seems so wrong in this situation.  but i can't think of a better word.  i hope you hate me and wish for me to die, because that makes me hurting and loving you, all the more worth while.  i wasn't ready to let go, but its not like i have a choice.  i will be a bitch and slut, just to prove, i'm everything you think i am, and more.  bye friend, hello stranger?