It’s cruel, one would assume, how life can treat you. It will build you up, taller than a mountain, and then proceed to drag you down, lower than the ocean. People will judge you, today and tomorrow, probably years from now. You will end up spending your life living for everyone, other than yourself. You have to learn to leave them behind, in a cloud of your dust, because if they cannot accept who you are, then they shouldn’t be in your life.

I have learnt, mistakes will never be forgotten, but they might be forgiven. People will look down upon you for things in your past, and they will base their opinion on these things. They won’t look into who you are, only the things you do. Inner beauty never matters, because ugly runs deep.

Don’t make mistakes; don’t screw things up, be the perfect person everyone wishes they could be. Don’t talk, don’t look, don’t walk, don’t act, and don’t breathe. Just be. It’s that simple. Pretend to be present but do not live. The more you live, the more mistakes you will make and the more people will judge and bring you down.

I can pretend that it doesn't get me, right in the heart of my being.  I can blink away the tears and paste on the false smile.  But it doesn't mean I hurt any less, it doesn't me it breaks up apart.  It means you don't see the little cracks in my foundation.  The things I'll think about when I'm alone, the things I'll beat myself up about.  No one understands.  Because they look at the mistakes, not what the mistakes mean for me.  I have to live with these things.  So don't pretend you get it, don't talk about it behind my back.  Say it to my face, cus then at least I can shut you out of my life.  Because that is what I do.  I push pain so far away, so that I don't have to feel.  Because that is the way I like it.  Just.  Leave me alone.  I'll show you just how much you don't want me.  You'll wish you had never even known my name (:

Confession Sixteen:
I picked you.  Just when you decided I was everything you never want.